Wasting my sleeping time

hey there, what’s up? feeling great?

well, the fact is, I’m blogless. so random this time.

I just read some of Aya’s blog and um… I think it was just great. I’m kinda inspirated but I don’t know how to show it, or express it. yeah, it’s soooo me…-,-

anyway, the euphoria of Loco Amigo’s First Gig is still in my head. the atmosphere just make me want to be on the stage again. you know, it’s like the stage is where I belong. well, it really got my nerves, but when everyone looks at you, I think it’s like everyone searches for only two things : “how good” and “how bad”. and when I’m on the stage, I feel like I have to show them “how good” I am. but, you see, the “how bad” part is always there, decreasing the good points, and the feeling of “defeating” these “bad things” was just like what I was searching for. you know the phrase, “the real enemy is within yourself” or “to defeat your enemies, you have to defeat yourselves” or something. Defeating myself, knowing my weaknesses and decrease it, knowing my abilities and improve it, search for every single little chance to break through “the wall”, it’s just sooo me.

BUT, what I was thinking is, why is that kind of feeling only come when I was on the stage? why is it only come when I play some music or entertain people? why is it only come when I got that kind of euphoria? why is it not come when I study subjects like chemistry, physics, or something?

hey, I do really want to be a musician, but my parents told me to be “better” than that. but I still can hold it as a hobby. but if I kinda make “musician” as the priority of my life, my parents are gonna kill me for sure. –,-

but yeah, when I was seeing Aya’s blog, it’s like she really want a succeded man to be her future-husband. and… it’s like 180 degrees out of my own…. “specifications”…. and it’s sounds like a perfectionist handsome rich working guy…. and she’s absolutely out of my league…. she won’t marry a guy like me… she even rejected me to be her boyfriend… and that’s quite “something”….. hmm, forget it, this is only the outpouring of my heart… (a bit google-translated –,-)

ah, I forgot to tell Asa to give me the copy of the first gig’s photos and video in a flashdisk. I’ll BBM her, and I’m going to sleep. good bye lads.

see you soon~

Hudan out…

~krrssssssskkk~ *radio off*