Wasting my sleeping time

hey there, what’s up? feeling great?

well, the fact is, I’m blogless. so random this time.

I just read some of Aya’s blog and um… I think it was just great. I’m kinda inspirated but I don’t know how to show it, or express it. yeah, it’s soooo me…-,-

anyway, the euphoria of Loco Amigo’s First Gig is still in my head. the atmosphere just make me want to be on the stage again. you know, it’s like the stage is where I belong. well, it really got my nerves, but when everyone looks at you, I think it’s like everyone searches for only two things : “how good” and “how bad”. and when I’m on the stage, I feel like I have to show them “how good” I am. but, you see, the “how bad” part is always there, decreasing the good points, and the feeling of “defeating” these “bad things” was just like what I was searching for. you know the phrase, “the real enemy is within yourself” or “to defeat your enemies, you have to defeat yourselves” or something. Defeating myself, knowing my weaknesses and decrease it, knowing my abilities and improve it, search for every single little chance to break through “the wall”, it’s just sooo me.

BUT, what I was thinking is, why is that kind of feeling only come when I was on the stage? why is it only come when I play some music or entertain people? why is it only come when I got that kind of euphoria? why is it not come when I study subjects like chemistry, physics, or something?

hey, I do really want to be a musician, but my parents told me to be “better” than that. but I still can hold it as a hobby. but if I kinda make “musician” as the priority of my life, my parents are gonna kill me for sure. –,-

but yeah, when I was seeing Aya’s blog, it’s like she really want a succeded man to be her future-husband. and… it’s like 180 degrees out of my own…. “specifications”…. and it’s sounds like a perfectionist handsome rich working guy…. and she’s absolutely out of my league…. she won’t marry a guy like me… she even rejected me to be her boyfriend… and that’s quite “something”….. hmm, forget it, this is only the outpouring of my heart… (a bit google-translated –,-)

ah, I forgot to tell Asa to give me the copy of the first gig’s photos and video in a flashdisk. I’ll BBM her, and I’m going to sleep. good bye lads.

see you soon~

Hudan out…

~krrssssssskkk~ *radio off*

haha, today was great!! but it’s kinda weird~

hey, apa kabar? hmm, capek banget dah gua hari ini. walopun capek, tapi tetep aja ngeblog haha parah ya gue.

btw, hari ini, Minggu, 25 September 2011, di event yang namanya “The Unplugged Accoustic: A Tribute To Pop Disaster”, akhirnya Loco Amigo yang terdiri dari Nabil sbg vokalis, gua (Hudan) sbg gitaris/backing-vokal, Bimo sbg bassis/gitaris rhytm pas akustikan, dan Renzie sbg perkusioner/drummer/cajoner (ato apapun lah haha)…. kita akhirnya bisa mulai berjalan…. walopun di Pop Disaster Tribute tadi banyak “messed up”, tapi itu adalah langkah awal dan penampilan kita gak buruk2 amat. kita berhasil mencari “daratan”.

Loco Amigo… akhirnya kita bisa melewati “tembok” pertama kita untuk pertama kalinya. FIRST GIG…. it was AWESOME and it was VERY GREAT!!!!

dan inspirasi gua bertambah ketika ada band punk dari Prancis namanya “The Shapers” main di backyard sebagai guest star. mereka band punk yang kayaknya udah punya cukup nama. mereka udah pernah main sama Netral dan Superman Is Dead, dan tadi mereka bawain lagu “Cahaya Bulan” dari Netral. dan mereka juga baik. gua biasanya pulang langsung nyari di internet lagunya dan donlot. dan tadi gua langsung beli album Originalnya. sebenernya gua sekalian pengen minta tanda tangan sama mereka langsung sama minta picknya. tapi takutnya mereka keganggu gara2 lagi main billiard gitu. terus juga tadi sebenernya gua nemu pick nganggur dan gue pikir punya personilnya The Shapers. tapi gajadi hehe.

oya, thanks juga tadi buat keluarganya renzie udah dateng dan thanks buat asa dan kika yang udah dokumentasiin. dan thanks buat ortunya yang udah ngerepotin, di anterin pulang, di bayarin makan pula. jadi enak… *eh,salah* jadi ga enak maksudnya hehehe…

thanks banget buat semua yang dateng ke Backyard Café, Kemang malem ini dan nontonin Loco Amigo. thanks buat semua support yang di kasih ke kita. dan sorry banget buat band2 setelah Restless Children terutama Jimmy Hopkins dan Hundred Years Starship ga nontonin kalian. udah disuruh pulang men, gua nebeng ama temen. ga enak juga hehe.

sebenernya gua agak sedikit males online lagi. tapi berhubung tadi Aya bilang liat2 blog gua, gua jadi liat2 blog dia juga deh. anyway, “hai.” kayaknya buat gua ya? balesan dari postingan gua kali ya? hehehe. sori deh kalo gua kepedean ato kegeeran banget. tapi, 2 kalimat terakhir lu itu udah cukup banget buat ngedatarin perasaan gua yang lagi excited gara2 hari ini.

hahaha, jadi aneh deh, kita jadi saling sindir2an di blog gini. (oh, kalo gua frontal juga kali yah? haha). kayak ga ada dunia nyata aje, yegak? hehehe

yap, seperti judul, hari ini salah satu hari terbaik dalam hidup gua, tapi juga hari ter-”aneh” dalam hidup gua. anyway, thanks for your support, too. that was helpful.

FYI aja nih, kayaknya di postingan gua selanjutnya, gua bakal masukin foto2 pas di Backyard Café dan link Youtube pas Loco Amigo manggung. tapi maap2 aja nih yaaakkk kalo hasilnya mungkin kurang memuaskan. maklum, kamera hape hehe. tapi kalo buat motret2, aman lah 550D hahaha

P.S. I don’t care you care about me or not. but I’ll always care about you. you want to loose it? just get to ITB in the next couple of… times… and anyway… “7 days” huh? that’s a lot of time. you and your group should’ve done better than anyone. cheer up and gear up!! you guys got plenty of works to do! hehehe. anyway, Good Luck!!!

yaudah,segitu dulu. besok gua harus kembali ke planet asal gua. Good Night and Have a Nice Dream. Sleep Tight World, everybody, and Aya.

(I Wrote this at 23.40, September 25th, 2011)

Pesan Untuk “Dunia”…

1.) yak, dunia tampaknya mulai jaga jarak sama gua. apa gua juga harus jaga jarak? kayaknya boleh juga, biar gak sakit kalo jatoh ato kesandung :)

2.) hem, bilangnya sih bakal ngeladenin kalo orang lain dateng ke lo. ternyata pas gua deketin, sendirinya malah jaga jarak. kira2, lo nyadar gak ya kalo gua jaga jarak? lo selalu bilang kalo butuh, datengin lu aja. giliran gua datengin, lu malah pergi. gua pengen tau, lo butuh gua ato enggak ya? gua mah cukup tau aja sih temen lo udah banyak, dan jauh lebih berguna daripada gua. and i'm about to do one thing that i didn't want to do it to you. starting from now, i'm "scoring" you. :)

3.) sebenernya gua pengen ngehubungin elo malem ini buat ngasih tau masalah  apa yang sebenernya elo dan “kelompok belajar” lo hadapin. soalnya, kalo lo sama temen lo kayak gitu terus, lo gabakalan “survive”, dan itu bakal jadiin lo dan temen2 lo pecundang. dan lo sama temen-temen lo pasti gamau kan? tapi, gua lagi gak bisa berfikir jernih malem ini, gua agak emosi karena hari ini. dan gua juga galau gara2 elo. ngeliat muka lo bikin gua jadi galau. gua mau nyapa lo, tapi gua gaberani. gua males kalo tatapan lo keliatan males pas ngeliat gua. jadi gua merasa lebih baik gak natep. mungkin besok mood gua balik, dan gua baru bakal ngomong ke lo. gua gamau lo jadi pecundang dan sebaiknya jangan sampe.

4.) PESAN BUAT “DUNIA” : DISINI ADA GUA!! KALO GAK SUKA, SINI RIBUT!!

As You Can See

hey everybody, how’s it going? great?

I’m not feeling so well today, actually. you know, all the things I’ve done today were messed up. my brain will become very usefull once a week I suppose. And today was not that day.

Well, today was great anyway. At sport subject, the boys in my class splited up into 2 teams of five. We were doing futsal. Well, it was very tight, even though my team seemed to be ”weaker” than the opponents. they got the first and the second goal, but we managed to ‘fight’ and we can at least managed to score 2 goals. it kept going, the other team managed to score goals. we were left behind, but still, we could caught up with them. the opponents used to beat my team up when I was a goal-keeper. thanks to my little luck, they only score 6 goals (but, yeah, I’m still sucks… 6 goals buddy… –,–’). After that, I changed my position with Ekicops. He became the goal-keeper, and I became…. (what should we call it… the guy who used to score? anyway,whatever –,–). If I’m not wrong, we were about 1-2 score behind. but we could catch up, and we managed to win. 2 SCORES AHEAD!! And I somehow (luckily) managed to score 2 goals. 2 GOALS!! THAT’S RARE FOR ME!! and it almost three, yeah, almost… well, in fact, I was usually only score 1 goal at maximum, often no-goal. but still, in my opinion, “man of the match” in my team was Maul and Iddo. Maul, as the captain, managed to win without his “best” team, and Iddo did a really good job in defending and stealing the ball from the opponent. Arbi, as always, is a great striker, and Ekicops, he got the skill, I mean, if I recall, he did some good passes. Even Maul entrusted him to be his ’Playmaker’ since the 11th grade. Everyone in my team was great, but not me. I’m just a lucky person, as usual. Even I sometimes just don’t use my luck to make it better.

Now, I’m very exhausted. I went to school at 6 o’clock, Futsal at the beginning, Japanese test after that, and more lessons after school from 16.30 – 20.00, and I just got home at about 21.30. I have more than 12 hours activity a week. And when the Japanese test began,my teacher identified that some of my friends did some cheating, and he said that my class will be doing a re-test next week. man, it was suck anyway -,-

oh, I have more things to do after I wrote this. I have to think about my band’s performance on Sunday, September 25th 2011 at Backyard Café, Kemang, at 4 o’clock. anyway, Be there guys, Loco Amigo will be performing!!!

And… I’m thinking about you, AuliaDh… even you always thinking about “my bestfriend”… maybe I couldn’t manage to do his role in your heart, but at least… at least… ah, forget it. such unimportant things to say… –,– no offense, but, yeah maybe I can’t (or maybe won’t) understand about how your feeling when you cry for him. but I suppose, you’ll never understand what’s inside my heart and my head either, won’t you? and it’s quite fair if I mentioned it like that, right? hmm, or maybe you just don’t care about those things I said, I suppose? you prefer not to care and just let the wind pass. anyway, I’m sorry, I’m a bit out of control. I’m exhausted, and I kinda feel like... I should say this to you, right in front of your face, but I don’t stand a chance. Your face erased all the bad things about you in my head, INSTANTLY! ah, let’s get this one done, it’s getting “creepy” (?) –,-

anyway, as you can see, after all I’ve done today, I think I’m going to sleep right now, ‘cause tomorrow will be a great day to live on! Good Night and Have a nice dream, worldwide and of course you, Aya. Sleep tight!

FYI: I wrote this post at 23:12 on September 22th, 2011. Not uploaded right after it’s done because the modem is being held by my mom because I messed up a bit.. –,– and I was just trying to post an all-english blog. well, I’m so sorry if my english is very bad. In fact, I’m doing this to improve my english skill. you know, to get a higher TOEFL score…

“life is runing as ‘the times clicking’. it’s hard like a ‘steel’, but it keeps testing us like ‘love’. so live this life with love.”

-Raden Hudan Haryoadi-